Transcription
An Exciseman, carrying off two kegs of Whiskey, is pursued by two farmers, intending to tar and feather him, he runs for Squire Vultures to divide with him; but is met on the way by his evil genius who claps an [sic] hook in his nose, leads him off to a Gallows, where he is immediately hanged. The people seeing him hang, puts [sic] a barrel of whiskey underneath him and blows him up. etc.
The Distillers and Farmers pay[ing] all due deference and respect to Congress will not refuse to contribute amply for support of government but resolve not to be harassed by the opprobrious character (in all free governments), Viz., an Exciseman, [a class of characters] who are mostly forged out of old pensioners, who are already become burdensome drones to the community.
Epigraph
Beneath this tar and feathers, lies as great a knave
As e’er the infernal legions did receive
A bum exciseman despicable name
Fierce as ten thousand furies to these ports he came
To make the farmers pay for drinking their own grog
But thank the fates that left him in the bog.
For his bad genius coaxed him to a tree
Where he was hanged and burned, just as you see.
Launched off quick to gauge the River Styx[1]
Where he’ll get Sulphur all his drink to mix.
Ah! Farmers come and drop the tear of woe
‘Cause Pluto[2] did get him long ago.
Just where he hung the people meet,
To see him swing was music sweet
A barrel of whiskey at his feet
Without the head.
They brought him for a winding sheet[3],
When he was dead.
They clap’d a match unto the same
It flew about him in a flame,
Like shrouding[4] for to hide his shame
Both face and head.
The whiskey now will bear the blame;
It burn’d him dead.
This elegy was made August 13, 1792 per Philo bonus Aqua Vitae, Poet Laureate
